If you’re reading this then chances are you’re wondering if you should finally pop the question to your lover. First, before anything else, congratulations! Love should be celebrated, and by reaching this point you’ve shown that your relationship contains something very special in it. Despite all of the pains and problems, the ups and the downs, you’ve found your way to this beautiful moment.
Today you got up and thought that you wanted to finally marry this person, but what do you do now? Do you just go out, buy a ring, then get on your knees at a high class restaurant and pop the question? That might be right, but if you were going to do that then why would you be reading this article? Don’t worry too much, you’re not alone in this confusion. You’ll find everyone feels nervous when it comes to the proposal. It’s kind of like a job interview: you dress up in your best attire, go before them and try to win them over as best as you can. The difference being that instead of standing before an employer you’ll be standing before the person that you’ve decided you want to spend the rest of your days with. If this sounds intimidating, don’t worry! We’ll go over all the basics to ensure that your proposal goes over without a hitch (or in this case, with one).
Why You Should Already Know Your Partner’s Answer
It may seem a bit strange, but it’s definitely something important for a proposal. If you take anything away from this article, let it be this lesson: know the answer before you bear your heart and soul to them. In all honestly, while you may think you’re ready, your partner may not share the same feelings, or at least may not feel they’re quite that far into the relationship yet. And, to be fair, this is a pretty serious commitment you’re about to ask of them. In an ideal world, we could go straight up to the person we love, deliver a well-thought and heart-tugging speech about being incomplete without them, sweep them off their feet and head off into the sunset like a Nick Cassavetes film. While that’s a beautiful fantasy, that’s all it is; a fantasy. More times than we’d like to admit, many love-struck couples end in a tragic instance because there was no discussion held beforehand.
It may not be the most romantic notion, but this will ensure that no one leaves with a broken heart. Despite how this sounds, you should keep in mind that you can still wait and make it a surprise later. This discussion can be held at any time (provided that you’ve been with them for a while), so why rush the proposal? You can still get your movie moment, even if the initial surprise is a little spoiled. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.
Ask Them how they Would like to be Asked
Chances are you think this article was written by some crazy people. First you’re told to ask them for their answer beforehand, and now you’re being told to give them the ability to plan it? At least you aren’t completely misunderstanding us.
Here’s a fact that you cannot deny: everyone is different. It isn’t anything profound, yet knowing this to be true, then why do people think that the overplayed romantic gestures of the movies will work to win over anyone and everyone in real life? You might have some large and extravagant in mind for the big day, and that could be the right answer. However, not to sound rude, this is a bit of a selfish idea. You may be the one planning the proposal, but at the end of the day, the moment is equally theirs as well. The proposal is about more than just you. The point of it isn’t your plans, and it isn’t solely about your feelings or wishes. The fact is, marriage proposals are a two way street, so treat it as such. You may think proposing during March Madness might be romantic, but your partner may find it a bit infuriating. Why would they want to say yes when you won’t even think about their feelings and desires towards such a special event, and we don’t mean March Madness.
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Picking the Right Ring
Often people make the mistake of buying a ring that they simply believe their lover will enjoy. This could be problematic, for some obvious reasons. Remember how we said that everyone is different? This also includes taste. What may look amazing to you might look less that stellar to them.
This step is much trickier than previous steps, because if you simply just go up to them and ask to ‘pick out a ring’, you run the chance of ruining the magic. In some cases your partner may actually want to pick out the ring, and you should be fairly happy to let them do so, however outside of this if you wish to keep some secrecy to the event then you’ll have to become a master detective. Luckily for you, you’ve been paying attention to them over the course of their relationship, so most of the hard work is already done.
You have many options for finding their dream ring without completely ruining the surprise of it. For example, consider employing their friends to find a ring without you being in the room. They’ll more than likely be completely onboard with this, since their friends will want this magical union to happen almost as much as you do. If you don’t feel you can ask their friends for help then you can always turn to their parents for guidance. You might also consider sneakily taking them to a jewelry store to look around. See what jumps out at them, and do your best not to ask any direct questions. Then, when they’re not looking, consult the attendant and ask them for help keeping track of what they want. After you two leave, you can later return and compare what you two found out. They’ll also work with you finding other selections that your lover might have overlooked. We encourage communication, but that doesn’t mean that there’s no room for a little surprise and awe!
The Importance of Practice
To put it simply, you get one shot at this. It’s like a big play, and your character has almost no room for improv. You will be nervous, no getting around that, and it’s okay, expected even, however unless you’ve got the improvisation skills of Wayne Brady you should have your lines prepared ahead of time. It can be endearing when someone has a few butterflies fluttering about, however someone who can’t escape tripping over their own words with every sentence will quickly become less than appealing. If you start to come off as uncertain then they probably won’t want to say yes. Another way to put it is that your nerves will be multiplied in them. So whenever you have some alone time, scribble some ideas onto a piece of paper. Get your friends and family to help you out if you need to. Do what you must to prove you believe this is the best decision you’ve ever made in your entire life.
How to add a Touch of You to the Moment
Earlier we suggested that it might be wise to ask them how they would like to be proposed to. That doesn’t meant you can’t get creative with it! That person at one point decided to be in a relationship with you for one reason or another. There’s no reason that you can’t use your proposal as a reminder for them. Let’s face it, no matter how original we think we are, when it comes to proposals nearly everything imaginable has been done. So instead of losing sleep trying to think of a completely unique way to ask the question (which would require nothing short of a miracle), why not use that time and energy coming up with ways to make that moment uniquely you? In a way, this makes the moment unique in it’s own right. Make the qualities they adore about you shine for them just like the diamond in their ring will. A good start is to think of something that will trigger a wave of memories they share with you, like the time that you both met or the time that definitively brought you both closer together. Remember, you’re selling yourself, not your proposal.
Avoid Gimmicks when Proposing
We don’t want to sound as if we’re setting rules for your relationship. If you know for certain that your lover cherishes the idea of finding a ring in a glass of wine over dinner, then by all means, go for it. What we are suggesting is that gimmicks have a tendency for backfiring. You won’t struggle to find videos of proposals that were so shortsighted they were doomed to fail from the start. It it can then it will go wrong, so never forget that. Picture this, you’ve tied the ring to the leg of a beautiful dove, and you’ve gently tossed it into the air, headed for your partner, only to realize that halfway there it decided that migration sounds much more fun, and it’s changed course for the nearest exit. You’ll find problems no matter where you go, but you can still minimize how they affect your day.
Getting Help from Your Families
This is more than simply asking their parents for permission. Whether you realize it or not, this proposal affects more than just you and your lover. Your families are about to become forever connected via you two, and they’ll want to be a part of your special moment. It’d probably be a good idea, then, to get them involved in more ways than just asking for permission. Your partner will be moved by the fact that, amidst your painstaking planning you’ve made time and room for the other people in their life that mean the most to them. Besides, when they say yes, they’re going to want to immediately get on the phone and share with everyone they know anyway. Getting them involved means they can weep tears of joy in person with their families, and the union between you two will have begun in a fantastic fashion.
Why a Photographer is Important to Your Proposal
It isn’t a requirement, but a very strong suggestion that you think about hiring a photographer for the special moment. This is a major defining moment in the relationship, arguably only topped by the wedding itself. The space will be filled with smiles, tears, squeals of joy, and a whole host of emotions. That sensation doesn’t have to be limited though, and by hiring a professional to capture the moment you can establish that memory forever. Years down the line, you two will be looking through photographs of how far you all have come, and having the proposal in there is a nice edition to the story that you both share.